Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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