East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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