You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
