i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
