508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
