I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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