We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
