Betty ford says i'm here all night
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
