where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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