Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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