She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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