Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
