im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
