i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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