Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think people are normalizing furries
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
