dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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