ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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