**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
