I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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