...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
