Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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