I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
