Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
