just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
