This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
