Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
