16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
