Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
