We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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