Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
