can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
