did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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