I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
