Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
