I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
