But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
