i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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