youre lurking in front of me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
