More tranny stories later!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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