I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize