i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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