Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
