So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize