"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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