Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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