He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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