i think my mom watched the whole time
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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