he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
