He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
