Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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