The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
