he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
