Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
