its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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