47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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