Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
