There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
