Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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