Don't you send me to vm
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
