The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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