I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
