I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
