help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
