what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
